Dead Blood
by NinjasRockYourFace
Summary: In which Bella faces an embarrassingly strange situation.


A/N: I know there's probably a few stories out there similar to this one, but after reading a short comment on IMDB, I just had to write this. Cheers.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters, only this plot. Kind of.

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**Dead Blood**

I walked down the hall, hand in hand with my supernatural boyfriend, Edward Cullen. I momentarily lost my train of thought, and my breath, when he smiled at me. We were heading to lunch after having our morning classes, and the weather was gloomy, as usual. But as long as I could have Edward by my side, the downpour was insignificant.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear as we sat down at the lunch table.

"The weather," I answered. "I'm glad it's not sunny," I added when a confused expression made its way onto his flawless features.

"Oh," he smiled his crooked smile, seeming surprised my justification. Edward thought for a moment. "I need to stop by my house after school today. Would you want to come with me?"

I stared at him for a moment as if he were crazy. What a silly question; of course I'd love to.

However, he seemed puzzled by my stare. "Do you have other plans?"

"No." I rolled my eyes – for a hundred-year-old vampire, Edward could be so imperceptive. "Of course I'd love-" I paused as a felt a strange sensation down in my, uh, woman-y part. I felt the color drain from my face and quickly racked my brain with details of the past month. Oh crap. It had been about four weeks since my last… "time of the month".

"What is it, Bella?" Edward asked quickly, leaning towards me. His golden eyes were full of panic and worry. Alice just glanced at me from across the lunch table and giggled. Edward, however, wasn't paying attention to her thoughts, so he had no idea what was going on.

"I, uh, I need to go to the bathroom." I stood up quickly, grabbed my backpack, and headed towards the bathroom. At the speed I was going – which wasn't really that fast – I hoped I wouldn't trip over my own feet.

Upon reaching the bathroom, I flung the door shut behind me and leaned against it. Normally, I would try to avoid Edward during my… period. Ugh. Well, not really avoid so much as distancing myself physically. And I would always work at the Newton's outdoors shop more during that time – it would give me less time with him, and even though I absolutely hated it, maybe it would be easier for him. "You know, I wonder if my period even affects him at all," I wondered to myself. Maybe it didn't, and I was just making a fool of myself. Plus, if it didn't, that would mean I would have more time to spend with Edward. But, I didn't really want to ask him about it. That would be _beyond_ embarrassing.

"Bella?" An anxious voice called from the other side of the bathroom door. Edward, of course.

"Yes?" I answered back meekly.

"Is something wrong?" I could hear the tension in his beautiful voice, and felt stupid for running into the bathroom without an explanation.

"Kind of," I responded. Well, maybe asking him about it could wait.

There was silence on the other side of the door for a moment. "Can I come in?"

I considered snickering for a moment, but thought against it. "No."

"And why not?" Edward demanded, his voice creeping towards incredulity.

"Because we're in school and this is the girls' bathroom," I reminded him, stifling a laugh.

Another round of silence engulfed us for a few seconds, and then before I knew what was happening, I was falling backwards towards the floor. Edward caught my arms, stood me upright, and dragged me out into the hall. "There. Now we're out in the hall, where gender does not matter."

"Uh huh." In my haste to get to the girls' bathroom, I had forgotten to lock the stupid door. Not that it would've stopped him, so I guess it didn't really matter anyway.

"Bella," Edward sighed, his eyes softening. "What is it that's bothering you?"

His cool breath blew in my face, and I completely forgot the reason why I had been so flustered in the first place. Promptly, another sensation reminded me. "Well," I drew out the word, hoping that a light bulb would go off in my head and I would be able to provide Edward with a less embarrassing explanation. Nope. No light bulb. "Edward," I started, "You know how girls, um, go through that, uh, week-long phase?"

Edward tried to hide it, but I saw the momentary expression in his eyes - he had looked at me like I was on the verge of going insane. I almost started laughing; this situation was just so, so unbelievable. Who would have thought I would end up asking my perfect boyfriend about my period? Huh. Very interesting indeed.

"I'm not sure I understand what you're trying to say, Bella."

I let out an impatient huff and tried again. "The monthly thing? Where every girl just about wants to stick their head in an oven?" I swore I almost heard him gasp.

"You… You want to," he began, searching for the right words. "Every girl has a monthly urge to… to _kill themselves_?"

Now, this was something I had never seen before. In fact, it was something I never thought I would _ever_ see. Here was Edward, my insanely beautiful, smart, Edward, caught off guard.

I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment, trying to calm the part of me that just wanted to burst out laughing. "No, Edward. Girls don't have a monthly urge to kill themselves."

"Then what are you trying to get at, Bella?" I could hear impatience starting to appear in his voice.

"Okay, surely you've learned this in all of the health classes you've taken. You know, that time of the month when girls get all crabby?"

"No, Bella, I don't." Edward sighed, obviously becoming annoyed at my round-about way of getting to the point.

"My… my period?" My voice had gotten so quiet by the time I said the last word that I wasn't sure he'd be able to hear it. Then I remembered his uncanny hearing abilities, and started to blush.

I saw the corner of his mouth twitch. Suddenly, he started laughing, the sound echoing through the hallway.

I crossed my arms over my chest – this was no laughing matter. "What?" I demanded. "What in the world is so funny about this, Edward?"

In between his laughter, he managed to say, "So, all of this strange behavior was because you're having your _period_?"

I was stunned, to say the least. "You mean, it doesn't… affect you?"

"Why would I have a problem with it, Bella? If anyone, it would be you. I've heard plenty of girls' thoughts before, and this whole 'period thing' sounds just awful." Edward smiled, and I could tell he was trying not to laugh again.

"What? So you, this, me, none of it affects you? At all?" I almost wanted to cry. Almost. All this time, I had been trying to avoid Edward, and it was pointless. I let out an aggravated breath and stomped down the hall, away from him.

Of course, with his inhuman speed, Edward was directly in front of me within a few seconds, his hands on my shoulders. "Bella, _you_ affect me. You know that. But nothing as small as your, well, you know, bothers me at all."

"Really?" I asked, still doubtful.

"Maybe I should explain this to you. You see, when _human_ girls go through this time of the month thing, they bleed what we vampires call "dead blood". Yes, it's blood, but it's absolutely vile. Not fresh, and certainly not something we would find appetizing." He planted a quick kiss on my forehead. "Now, _you_, on the other hand, are an entirely different matter altogether."

I raised an eyebrow, and gazed up at him. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

Edward shrugged nonchalantly. "Could mean nothing, could mean everything."

"So you're sure that this whole ordeal has absolutely no effect on you whatsoever?"

"For the last time, Bella, no, it does not affect me." Edward grinned down at me, and kissed me once right before the bell rang.


End file.
